Today we are scheduled to read Proverbs 5.
The first four chapters of Proverbs have mostly consisted of exhortations to become wise and descriptions of the benefits of wisdom. Here in chapter 5, Solomon turned to describing the kind of practical life choices that a wise person makes. He began with a lengthy, passionate plea to his son not to commit adultery. Verses 3-6 described the deceptive dangers of an adulterous woman. Verses 7-14 urged us not to go anywhere near adultery. Verses 15-20 gave us the antidote to adultery which is to cultivate a passionate relationship with your spouse. Finally, verses 21-23 explains why all of this is important: God is watching and his judgment will come on those who disobey his commands, including this command.
Although this passage is written from the male perspective, it takes two to commit adultery. Just as there are seductive women in the world, there are also men who are skilled “pick up artists.” Adultery is tempting because it makes you feel wanted; it revives the thrill that you had when you and the person you’re married to now felt the passion of attraction. Adultery happens in secret, so there is the added thrill of danger. Like many risky activities, the risk itself heightens the experience. But the costs of adultery far outweigh the price tag. I read somewhere that the average extramarital affair lasts about six months. After that point, the thrill begins to wane and the stress of feeling guilty, the dishonesty of keeping it secret, the deception required to avoid detection, and the unexpected strain it causes to one’s marriage begins to add up. The momentary pleasure that adultery promises does not last but the consequences do. God’s command, “Do not commit adultery” is a command for your good. It is designed for your happiness not to keep you from being happy. It takes faith in God in the moments of temptation, but that faith will be rewarded.
If your marriage is suffering from neglect or worse, you and your spouse are both potentially at risk and vulnerable to the seductions of a third party (vv. 3-4). The Lord urges us to turn away from that temptation and turn toward your spouse. Addressing pain and problems in your relationship is harder than falling for someone who acts sweetly toward you and promises pleasure with no string attached, but the rewards of working on your marriage and finding satisfaction there are so much greater than the temporary pleasures of sin.
Ask God for the faith to do right if you encounter a temptation to adultery. Pray for yourself to have a pure heart and for your spouse to have an open heart toward you. If you are not yet married, trust the Lord that purity will be better for you over the course of your life than the temporary thrill that sexual sins offer. May God protect all of our marriages and our hearts as we read these words and think about how to apply them to our lives today.